– Efficacy of Premarital Counseling in Nashville, TN

Last Updated on February 22, 2015 by Chris Roberts

HOW DOES PREMARITAL COUNSELING WORK?

References “Are College Marriage Textbooks Teaching Students the Premarital Predictors of Marital Quality?” Family Relations, 2004, Vol. 53, No. 4, 385-392.”by Larson and Hickman

Premarital Counseling in Nashville, TN is such an important piece of building an appropriate foundation for the context and enjoyment of marriage.  Anytime a couple is willing to work on issues before they become crises, there is a significantly greater return on investment.   Of course, besides premarital counseling, most couples don’t turn to counseling unless there is something really wrong with their relationship.  So, there is a huge burden on premarital counselors in Nashville, Tennessee to be equipped, knowledgeable and effective in their work.

There are many reasons why premarital counseling is effective.  Primarily, it is so helpful, because both partners have a clear and level head about the therapy and are able to listen, ask questions, and be curious about themselves and about each other.  When people are in crisis, they have less faculties available to take a step back and see a different perspective, and be open to the other person’s experience.  A healthy relationship relies so much on each person being able to put forth their own experience and feelings, but also be open to the reality the other person is feeling.  In crisis, or after years of unhealthy patterns, this becomes increasingly difficult to accomplish.  It is possible; it just takes more work and effort.

Some key concepts and areas that need to be addressed in premarital counseling in Nashville include: “background and contextual factors, individual traits and behaviors, and couple interactional processes.” (p. 386)  These are complicated phrases and so we will break them down into more sizable chunks.  Background and contextual factors include family of origin, where a person has lived during their life, and socioeconomic conditions.  These factors are so critically important, because it gives each party a chance to basically tell their own story, in their own language and through their own filters.  We all have filters, primarily based on our family, our culture, and our economic status.  These are incredibly important to understand about ourselves and about our partner.  Individual traits and behaviors include how each person chooses to enjoy such activities as: relaxing, working, playing, fighting, and loving.  As with the first category, it is imperative to get a “ground zero” of where each person is at the current moment. This by no means indicates that each person can’t and won’t move and change, but it gives a good lay of the land for where the individual is now.  It really helps with current expectations.  Finally, the couple interactional processes means basically: How do you two fight and love within your relationship?  It is always so fun to hear each partner describe how they experience the relationship.  Of course, the more that their stories are validated by the experience of their premarital partner, the higher the likelihood they are off to a good start!

Most people are pretty comfortable with the idea of premarital counseling in Nashville, because the south is so highly inculcated with the influence of the church.  Most people get married in a church in the south.  And most churches require some form of premarital counseling before a couple can get married in their church.  Some states also require premarital counseling before they will officially declare a couple wedded.

But premarital counseling is also a very serious process that needs to be undertaken by a professional who understands the 3 areas listed above, and is proficient in walking a couple through them.  A good premarital counselor in Nashville will give a couple the jump start that will allow them to live a more healthy and enjoyable life together.