– 5 REASONS THE HOLIDAYS CAN BE HARD: A NASHVILLE INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING PERSPECTIVE. Part 2 of 2.

Last Updated on May 4, 2023 by Chris Roberts

5 REASONS THE HOLIDAYS CAN BE HARD: A NASHVILLE INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING PERSPECTIVE. Part 2 of 2.

In a previous article, we discussed the first 3 areas where the holiday season can cause more havoc than happiness. In this article, we will delve into the final 2. There is no way to prevent these difficult situations from arising. As humans, we all have our own plans for what will make the holiday season enjoyable and pleasant. The trouble with that is there are thousands of different ideas that could make the holidays just as enjoyable. We don’t want to have to plan and discuss the ways we have fun. We want fun to be organic and simple and spontaneous. But a huge part of the pleasure of the holidays is being with other people…with all of their individual ideas of play and fun!

The 5 areas where the holidays can seem like more work than play are:

• Family
• Gifts
• How to celebrate Christmas
• Travel
• Managing down time

TRAVEL: A NASHVILLE INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING PERSPECTIVE

Whether we travel or not for the Christmas season, there will have to be decisions made about our physical location. Some people love to travel! Others do not like the drudgery of riding in a car or flying on a plane. Travel always necessitates planning, packing, and sitting. These necessary evils are part of the ways we break up the routine of everyday life. We need seasons where routine isn’t the norm. But, whenever we break up our routine, we are prone to feeling inbalanced and out of control.

If we stay at home for the holidays, we risk upsetting those that wish we would come to them. If we have people come stay at our house, we disrupt our normal rhythms for sleeping, eating, and resting. When we go to another’s house, we have to manage the reality that we aren’t going to someone else’s house. It would be lovely if all our loved ones understood the complexity of these sometimes difficult decisions, but often they don’t. Travel is typically a bear. There is no way around this reality.

MANAGING DOWN TIME: A NASHVILLE INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING PERSPECTIVE

The holidays are supposed to represent peace, play, and relaxation. But in the harried environment that is the Christmas season, it can be difficult to schedule down time. If we are in a relationship, it is particularly hard to know what our partner might need for down time and what we might need. Conversations with our partner are necessary to get a good understanding of what they might be needing during this time that is supposed to represent rest and relaxation. Of course, this bumps us up against the reality that we can have misaligned values for what constitutes rest. One partner might need some time with good friends. One partner might need alone time. One partner might be expecting some uninterrupted together time, even in the midst of being with a host of friends and family.

The days leading up to Christmas, Christmas Day, and New Years Day all represent specific gathering times to be with friends and family. But the minutes and hours between these events bring with it expectations for how to settle down, settle in, and recharge. Most of us are quite annoyed at having to plan “down time.” Much like times of play and fun, we want down time to be simple, organic, and restful. But as life teaches us: If we don’t make specific time to be quiet and still, it will never happen (at least to the degree we wish it did happen.)

Nashville individual counseling can create the space for us to dream about the ideal holiday season we want, while giving us the perspective to have constructive conversations with our loved ones about their ideal season. In any case, we must be able to have productive conversations with the people we love seeing during the holidays in order to have the best possible holiday season. Chris Roberts at Two Trees Counseling Nashville has worked with many people during the holiday season to help them discover ways to make this time of year the best it can be!