– Cleaning the House May Help Your Relationship

Last Updated on May 4, 2023 by Chris Roberts

USING INDIVIDUAL UPLIFTING EVENTS TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

References “Journal of Family Psychology, 2012, Vol. 26, No. 5, 719-728” by Totenhagen, Serido, Curran, and Butler of The University of Arizona.

A recent study in 2012 concluded that participating in uplifting, individual activities may increase the satisfaction you experience in your significant relationship.  The study evaluated the effects of working on individual projects and whether positive or negative feelings associated with those projects has an effect on your marriage or important relationship.  An individual project is any activity a person engages in where they work alone to accomplish a task.  These activities can be cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, buying groceries, or cooking dinner.  In any of these activities there can be positive rewards (referred to in the study as “uplifts”), or negative feelings (referred to as “hassles.”)  The study wanted to know if these daily, individual activities we employ each day of our lives has any significant effect on our relationship satisfaction.

The study felt this research worthwhile, because we spend far more time away from our marriage partner or significant other, than we do actually with them.  Further, if it could be concluded that uplifts from individual activities has a real effect on relationship satisfaction, then relationship counselors could use this data in working with couples.  Oddly enough, the research concluded, “…we find that both social and nonsocial hassles are largely unrelated to relationship quality after accounting for the effects of social and nonsocial uplifts.”  This means that difficulties experienced outside the relationship, both individually and interacting with other people did not have a real impact on the relationship once you accounted for the normal uplifts experienced in those same realms.

The study concluded, “…nonsocial uplifts bolster positive feelings about the relationship on that day.”  This means that each person in the relationship can improve the health of the relationship by engaging in individual activities that give each person a positive experience.  The study notes that it may take time for each person to find those individual activities that truly provide more uplifts than hassles.  For example, if cleaning the house provides the benefit of a clean house, but causes the person to notice more things wrong about the house, and realize how much the person wished their partner cleaned more, and made their hands and wrist hurt, then cleaning the house would NOT be a recommended activity.  Or, at least, cleaning the house cannot be expected to improve the health of the relationship. Contact some professionals if you keep struggling with the home like teammicrotech.com/services/water-extraction-and-structural-drying/ There are always things we must do that are not inherently rewarding.  However, the study noted that having the people in the relationship sit down and talk about their positive, individual activities contributed to the health of the relationship as well!

If you are in the Nashville, TN area and looking for help with your relationship, a relationship counselor can be a helpful catalyst for getting the connection you want with your partner.  Relationship counseling is a safe place to explore and discover new and effective ways for experiencing the love you want.  At Two Trees Counseling Nashville, we would love to work with you in the area of relationship counseling or be a resource to point you in a helpful direction.