– Every Relationship Has a Story

Last Updated on May 4, 2023 by Chris Roberts

HOW RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING IN NASHVILLE, TN CAN HELP US UNPACK OUR RELATIONAL HISTORY

All of our relationships have a story. Most have a beginning, a middle and some, unfortunately, have an end. Relationship counseling is a great place to unpack unsettling and discomforting relationships. Relationship counseling is also a great place to enhance our current relationships, even if they are going well and thriving. Relationship counseling doesn’t have to be all bad and sad news, although most people only look to relationship counseling when things aren’t going well or have ended poorly.

Every one of our relationships throughout our lives has an impact on us, whether we are aware of it or not. Oftentimes, the relationships that have soured or ended poorly are the ones that haunt us for years. This haunting, I believe, is our heart’s way of telling us that something hasn’t been resolved and our heart won’t rest until there has been a helpful resolution. Unfortunately, a helpful resolution doesn’t always mean the relationship will be restored or redeemed. Sometimes a healthy resolution means making sense of the harmful after effects, and learning more solid ways of incorporating these experiences into our psyche. This can be some of the most difficult work.

We don’t like good things to end. We aren’t prepared for them to end, and we usually aren’t well equipped to deal with them when they do. Part of relationship counseling is helping us to more fully understand the meaning and the impact that relationship had on us. It seems a little counter-intuitive to dig deeply into the past of painful break-ups. Most of us just want to move on and forget about them. We think we have grieved those relationships and are haunted when reminder of that past relationship brings up painful and shameful memories. I believe those hauntings have a purpose. I never know what that purpose is when a person enters my office with heartbreak and confusion. But most people are aware that their strategy of just trying to forget about it isn’t working.

Any relationship can cause us significant pain and heartache. It can be a dissolution of a friendship, or a breakdown between brothers or grandparents. Sometimes a breakdown between friends can be just as devastating as a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend. We often aren’t willing to give friendships that much credit, but I continue to see it time and again in my office. Anytime we let a person close to us, we risk the pain of that person leaving or moving on. Most of us aren’t aware of that risk when we begin a friendship or a new relationship. But it is always there. Whenever we love someone, we share with them vulnerable parts of ourselves under the hope they will care for those vulnerable parts as if they are their own. This is the pain of any relationship ending. We don’t know how to deal with that loss and if it isn’t dealt with properly, it will continue to wedge its way into our lives.

There is no good relationship that can “just end.” It’s never that easy. We are always looking for connection and for safety and for comfort. This is not a bad thing and it is a longing we can never get out of our system. We can try to fool ourselves into thinking that we are independent and don’t need other people. We can get really good at fooling ourselves. But relationship always finds us, even if we don’t believe we are looking for it.

Relationship counseling in Nashville, TN is a safe place where people can get more in touch with how important that relationship was to us and how hurt and disarmed we are (were) by its ending. The more we are hurt, usually the more confused and frustrated we are by its absence and by its haunting. If you notice you are struggling with how to get over someone, or how to forgive them, relationship counseling in Nashville, Tennessee may be a helpful place to learn how to more effectively lay it to rest and move on with your life.