– Finding Things You Love to Do With Your Partner Through Couples Counseling Nashville

Last Updated on April 19, 2015 by Chris Roberts

FINDING THINGS YOU LOVE TO DO WITH YOUR PARTNER THROUGH COUPLES COUNSELING NASHVILLE

If there is one thing I hear most consistently with couples in my office when their relationship is falling apart it is this: We are just two completely different people. It’s not hard to imagine why couples feel this way, unless you are a couple that is lucky enough to not have reached this low point. When the enjoyment of the relationship starts to wane, we start looking (mostly subconsciously, at least in the beginning) for “proof” that the relationship wasn’t meant to be. One of the most “sure” ways to “prove” that couples aren’t meant to be together is the ultimate “realization” that we are “completely different.” I over-use quotes here to signify that the conclusion most couples come to is an interpretation of reality and not necessarily a true one.

COUPLES COUNSELING NASHVILLE BRINGS REALITY TO LIGHT

Couples counseling Nashville helps couples realize that there are always two different people in a relationship. The point of a relationship is NOT to become the same person with the same desires, the same wants, and the same enjoyments. No matter how “perfect” two people may be for each other, we are all so profoundly nuanced and different to ever see life in the same way. We all must learn at some point or another the sobering reality that love and relationship take work and effort, simply because we are all so different.

One of the best methods for helping couples stay attached and connected through couples counseling Nashville is by asking them to focus on the things they DO have in common. In every relationship I have ever worked with there are far more differences than similarities regarding likes and interests. If a couple (subconsciously) chooses to focus on their differences, they will always find them and probably find them more in abundance than they ever imagined. When we first fall in love, we have this overwhelming, unexplainable feeling in our gut that this person makes us feel alive! Because we have this wonderful feeling in our stomach, we look for all the ways that make us feel good. In essence, we look for the ways we are similar; we look for the ways that make love feel easy and good and true. Typically, we find our love partner during an activity or event that we share in common. We believe, in the beginning, that if we have this particular thing in common, we must have many more things in common! It’s a way of looking at the world. We call this way “seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.”

GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS THROUGH COUPLES COUNSELING NASHVILLE

Depending on how far things have gotten off-track, couples counseling Nashville can help couples explore and remember all the things they do have in common. Once they can find these things they enjoy together the next step is getting them out and about and DOING those things together. Just the conversation itself of thinking about and focusing on the things they enjoy doing together can create a catalyzing spark that changes the glasses through which they are seeing the relationship.

Couples counseling Nashville is never this easy, but it is a cornerstone on which future conversations and explorations can occur. If you notice that your relationship feels boring, or that you are having a hard time remembering any parts of life that you have in common, then couples counseling Nashville may be helpful. Chris Roberts is a licensed professional counselor in Tennessee that has worked with many couples in restoring the joy and intimacy they once had in their relationship. Please feel free to give Chris a call at (615) 800-9260 and talk with him more about your concerns.