– How Individual Counseling in Nashville can Help Us Understand Selfishness

Last Updated on September 1, 2015 by Chris Roberts

HOW INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING IN NASHVILLE CAN HELP US UNDERSTAND SELFISHNESS

Especially in the south, we are taught that we are selfish first. Selfishness is the ultimate crucible we must overcome. Most people believe that left unaddressed, selfishness will rule our lives and our thoughts. The main problem with this idea is that selfishness doesn’t really exist. Why is it called “selfish” when a child doesn’t want to share the toy he is playing with? Why is it called “selfish” when we want to see a movie of our own liking, rather than our partner’s liking? Why is it called “selfish” when we don’t want to clean the dishes at the end of a lovely meal? There are so many contexts to all of these situations that are left unaddressed when we deem someone “selfish.”

Individual counseling in Nashville can allow a person to more fully understand the context of situations, rather than labeling them as selfish. The harm in the label of “selfishness,” is that eventually a person begins to believe they are selfish, and that being selfish means there is very little redeemable qualities about them. Once our curiosity about ourselves or someone else is extinguished, there is very little motivation for change. Selfishness is deemed negative, bad, and immature. As if a little girl wanting to finish the last drops of her treasured grape juice could somehow be construed bad. I understand where this concept has originated and I fully grasp the motivational quality that most people want to assign to it. However, the term is rarely useful.

In every situation of our life context is key. Context, context, context. Ultimately, the harm of selfishness is that it doesn’t consider context and it isn’t concerned with the nuance of life. The label “selfish” closes conversation. It’s the ultimate trump card. There are so many times I have sat in my office listening to wonderful people recount the stories of their life, only to conclude with a deafening statement, “I am just selfish.” The life is gone. Their life is gone. The story comes to a screeching halt and there seems to be no entry into the intricacies of the experience.

CAN INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING IN NASHVILLE GIVE US REPRIEVE FROM SELFISHNESS?

Individual counseling in Nashville asks clients to explore, explore, and explore. Just the act of exploration can loosen the bonds of self recrimination that cripple most people. Unfortunately, we are far more comfortable feeling worthless than we are feeling powerful and caring. The label of selfishness, which actually has little meaning of itself, becomes a title that we wear as a badge of humility. “I’m selfish, and that’s just who I am.” Some of the worst prognoses I’ve seen in my office come from people who believe they are selfish. The idea of selfishness is self-defeating and self-annihilating. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, even with it’s lack of real meaning.
If individuals were more sure of the reasons why they made certain actions, then selfishness would hold no weight in our society. Unfortunately, when we make a decision and someone deems that decision as harmful to another, we don’t want to dig deeper into the underlying reasons and context for why we took that particular action. If we were actually willing to take the time to consider the context for specific actions, we might find there is far more hope and far more possibilities for connection than we ever dreamed.

If you are struggling under the weight of perceived selfishness, then individual counseling in Nashville may be a great place for you to understand more of who you are and what you have to offer to this world. Chris Roberts is a licensed, professional counselor in Nashville who helps people more effectively consider their effect and impact on the world. I believe we all want to create good in this world. Sometimes we need help interpreting our own actions, so that we can be set free unleash goodness on the world.