How to Deal with Life thru Nashville Individual Therapy

Last Updated on February 18, 2025 by Chris Roberts

By: Chris Roberts, MACP, LPC-MHSP (Masters of Arts in Counseling and Psychology.  Licensed Professional Counselor with Mental Health Service Provider designation) Two Trees Counseling Nashville.  Relational Psychodynamic Therapy Certified Therapist Trainer and Consultant.

 

LIFE IS COMPLICATED.  SAY LESS.

My work as a mental health therapist in Nashville, Tennessee over the last 16 years has brought me face to face with an endless array of complications, complexities, and difficulties that life can bring.  So, when I hear of a new wrinkle in this thing we call life, I am always intrigued.

ANNOYING WORDS OF WISDOM.  PERHAPS A TAGLINE FOR THERAPISTS

In a surprisingly delightful and dense book by Adam Phillips entitled, “Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life,” Adam takes a hard look at the fantasies we all aspire to in our lives, but turns them on their head and praises the fantasies and wishful daydreams we carry about us.  Rather than telling us to “Get our head out of the clouds,” or “Come back down to earth,” or “Be realistic and rational about life,” Adam instead implores us to take note of the longings and desires and wishes that fill our minds.

A THERAPIST BRINGING US FACE TO FACE WITH REALITY.

In a simple, yet poingnant statement, Adam levies the hammer on my previously ignorant mind.  He writes, “In this sense, growing up is always an undoing of what needed to be done: first, ideally, we are made to feel special; then we are expected to enjoy a world world in which we are not.” p. XV  He is also providing another example of the countless ways that our parents can unknowingly cause us difficulty and consternation.  But in this particular way, it is our parents care and love through their acute attention and attentiveness to our lives that somehow causes the problem.

THE DOUBLE BIND OF TRYING TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE

It would be preposterous to deduce from this statement that parents should then be careless and unattentive to their children, in an effort to prepare them for the reality of life.  And yet, it wouldn’t be crazy to at least consider this alternative for a moment.  But I think, rather than trying to resolve this riddle with a formula or new 3 step rules for living life, we must delve deeper beneath the surface to wrestle with the importance and difficulty of struggle.

WHY A GREAT COUNSELOR SHOULDN’T BE TOO RATIONAL

Especially in modern western society, rationality is heralded as the great equalizer and scaffolding for knowing how to navigate the complexities of life.  I am in no way throwing out the baby with the bath water.  Rationality is necessary and important and quite useful in many situations.  But when it comes to matters dealing with the heart and with love and healthy relationships, rationality doesn’t provide all the cues and answers for how best to live a good life.  A really good therapist should be able to play with metaphor, and art and nuance, and most particularly, be willing to take chances with their clients solely based on their intuition and their gut.  That doesn’t mean that an individual counselor should be shooting from the hip, without looking, and with the greatest speed.

DOES THIS RING TRUE FOR YOU?

When you allow yourself to step back and fully appreciate the statement made by Mr. Phillips, does it resonate with you?  Do you find yourself in the same perplexed, insightful, agitated state that I found myself in, the first time I read it?  Our parents SHOULD make us feel special!  And yet, the world isn’t going to consistently, in any predictable way, treat us as special.  Both are true.  And ironically, both are necessary.

A GOOD THERAPIST IN NASHVILLE SHOULDN’T TREAT YOU AS ONLY SPECIAL

What I mean by this is that if a therapist treats you as the most special client that therapist has, we are already in a conundrum.  Because, how can a therapist with a client load of 15 or 25 clients treat every single client as the most special?  (Hopefully I’m not bursting the bubble of too many clients reading this article.)  Ultimately, a good therapist in Nashville, TN will be able to treat you as special as any normal person is able to, given the therapist has a life of their own, and case load of 15 to 20 other people.  If an individual therapist or counselor treats you as too, perfectly special, you might need to take a step back and reflect on your situation.

HOW DO WE GET BETTER THROUGH THERAPY IF WE AREN’T SPECIAL?

I believe this comes down to the same question of, “How do we get through this life if we aren’t as special as our parents made us out to be?”  I believe we both need to feel special (loved) and we need to feel not special (hard working).  If we feel ONLY special (loved) or only NOT special (hard working) then we will become either entitled or lack any self-esteem.  Feeling special gives us a sense of worth, that hopefully has nothing to do with our abilities or our talents or our skills.  Feeling not special means that we have to accept our place in the world and work with our skills and talent and knowledge to make things happen for ourselves and others.

AN INDIVIDUAL COUNSELOR CAN HELP US NAVIGATE THE COMPLEXITIES OF LIFE

If you are struggling with existential questions such as these, or are simply exhausted and disheartened with your life, then individual therapy in Nashville, TN could be a great place for you to reach out for support.  Individual therapy is a place to fall-apart, so to say, and not need to have it all together.  But, a good therapist will also push you with just the right amount of encouragement and insight to get you moving in a positive direction.

CHRIS ROBERTS AT TWO TREES COUNSELING NASHVILLE IS HERE TO HELP.

Chris Roberts has over 16 years working with individuals in the greater Nashville area.  Chris can be reached at: chris@nashvillecounselor.net and at (615) 800-9260.

 

Source: Missing Out.  In Praise of the Unlived Life.  Adam Phillips. 2012.  Farrar, Straus, and Giroux.  New York.