– Listening to the Thoughts in Your Head in Marriage Therapy

LETTING YOUR THOUGHTS OUT IN MARRIAGE COUNSELING IN NASHVILLE TN

In previous articles about marriage counseling in Nashville TN, we have discussed the term “conversations in your head.”  To many people, this may be a new concept.  I believe that the term “conversations in your head” may be new, but the idea that we talk to ourselves all day long is usually an understandable topic.  Some people refer to this as simply the thoughts in your head.  This is just as true, but I’d like to use the term “conversations in your head” to make a distinction that the thoughts that are buzzing through our heads at almost every minute are more than just thoughts. At their basic level, they are just thoughts.  But I would argue that we use these thoughts in our head as foundations and cornerstones for how we engage in conversations with people around us, especially our spouse.

In marriage therapy, part of what a marriage therapist wants to accomplish, is helping couples learn to be more honest and vulnerable with each other.  This in itself is not an easy task.  Coming to understand WHY a marriage partner doesn’t want to be honest or vulnerable with their spouse can be just as important.  But sometimes, just asking a spouse to say outloud the conversations that are playing in their head can become extremely valuable to the marriage counseling process.  Of course, asking either partner to become more aware of the conversations in their head may be the first step in the process.  As humans, I believe we are built for relationship.  That doesn’t necessarily mean marriage.  The thoughts that we have running through our brains all day are usually couched in the context of something we will or want to say to someone else.  The thoughts in our head are usually about trying to figure out a way to communicate to someone else the things that currently are stuck inside our brains.  Perhaps as humans, one of our most valuable resources are the odd and silly thoughts that fill our brain space.

Marriage counseling in Nashville is about helping two people become closer together, while allowing them to maintain an individual identity for themselves.  Becoming more aware of how our internal conversations work could be a key ingredient to allowing an individual to express themselves without the necessity of asking a specific question or getting a specific answer.  Sometimes, marriages can get so entrenched in certain patterns of relating between spouses, that individual people can forget how their unique pattern of conversation functions.  We all have different ways of expressing connection and intimacy.  It’s part of the beauty and the madness of being coupled.  No two people have the exact same way of talking.  We all have different enunciations, rhythms, times for listening and times for talking.

If you are having difficulty in your marriage in Nashville or the surrounding middle Tennessee area, we at Two Trees Counseling Nashville would love the opportunity to talk with you about your struggles and see if we could find you some help.  The are many qualified marriage therapists in Nashville, and we would love to speak with you about your concerns.  Just knowing you are not alone is a good place to start.  We wish you the happiest of holiday seasons.