– Processing our Feelings Before Speaking Through Individual Therapy in Nashville, TN

Last Updated on August 2, 2023 by Chris Roberts

By: Chris Roberts, MACP, LPC-MHSP (Licensed Professional Counselor) Two Trees Counseling Nashville

When we are speaking to loved ones in our lives, most of us have this innate drive to be as honest and authentic as possible.  We WANT to be honest and authentic and genuine.  If you were to ask anyone how they desired to speak to their loved ones, you would get an almost unanimous vote to be genuine.  But, as most of us have learned the hard way in life, our loved ones don’t speak authentically to us, and, in turn, we learn not to speak authentically to others.

So, our wish, and our desire, is to be authentic and honest in all of our dealings, but especially with those we love.  But, in reality, this rarely happens.  We find all these ways of skirting the truth, or omitting important details, or trying to be nice in a way that covers over our genuine feelings.  In efforts to “not hurt the other person’s feelings,” we justify giving a false version of ourselves.  In the long run, not only does it harm our relationships, but it puts us at odds with ourselves, and ultimately, teaches us to be out of touch with ourselves.

HOW CAN INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING IN NASHVILLE HELP?

Well, we’ve all learned that is actually quite difficult to be honest and transparent in our conversations with loved ones.  As we, unconsciously, learned to be dishonest with others, we have become detached from the genuine and authentic parts of ourselves.  And as such, when we do endeavor to be honest with our loved ones, we find ourselves not even sure how to do it.

Individual counseling becomes a great avenue to learn how to be honest with ourselves, and ultimately, honest with others. But, it’s not an easy task.  All of us think we can snap into be honest at anytime we wish.  However, without constant practice and attention, it is not as easy as we might trick ourselves into believing.

Everyone one of us has as many emotions as another.  We all feel things deeply. Some have been trained more than others to ignore or disavow their feelings, but at the end of the day, we all experience the same amount and same intensity of feelings.  Through therapy, as we learn to get in touch with and express our emotions, we then must learn the difficult task of processing these emotions, so that we can articulate them in a way that another person can receive them.

Being in touch with, and identifying, our emotions is a difficult and lengthy first step.  Emotions are messy and arbitrary and confusing and never come in a linear progression.  And oftentimes, we spew our emotions when we are overwhelmed, or scared, or angry.  But spewing these emotions in an unprocessed way gives us very little chance of being heard and understood by our loved ones.   And the ultimate goal, in speaking honestly with our loved ones, is so that we can be known and understood in a more full way.

Chris Roberts is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Tennessee with more than 14 years of experience working with individuals who are stuck or struggling with connection.  Chris would love the opportunity to speak with you more about your current place in life and work with you towards creating a more whole and connected way of living.  Chris can be reached at: chris@nashvillecounselor.net, or at (615) 800-9260.