– Repeating Unhealthy Thoughts in Individual Counseling

WHY DO WE REPEAT UNWANTED, UNHEALTHY CONVERSATIONS IN OUR HEAD?

Have you ever noticed the unwanted conversations “in your head?”  The ones that might be playing right now.  The one asking, “What is he talking about?”  Have you ever stopped to notice how often these are happening?  Individual counseling asks you to do just that.  And at my private practice in Nashville, TN, individual counseling will work on just that.  We will talk about and understand all these conversations “in your head,” both the ones that are helpful and the ones that aren’t.  Have you stopped to consider how these conversations might be running all the time in the back of your mind, and how they might be helpful, and also might be harmful?   If you are reading this article, then you probably have some familiarity with this concept.  Most psychologists would consider this realm the SubConscious.  It is not UnConscious, because they are right below our nose, even though we may not pay much attention to them.  They are not Conscious, because we are not actively and intentionally listening to and working from them.

But these conversations are paramount to individual counseling, and getting in touch with them and becoming familiar with them is a tremendous first step in getting a better grip on what might be holding us back in life.  Most individual counselors in Nashville, TN would be familiar with this topic, and it is oftentimes a great place to begin when working on our stuck places.  Getting stuck in life can feel overwhelming and frustrating at times, especially when we don’t feel like we have a road map for helping us out of the situation.   And we can get stuck in life when the conversations we have playing in the back of our minds continue to lead us down the same path even though intellectually, we understand that we want something different.  How do these conversations in our heads work?

Well, this is one of the core areas of individual counseling.  These conversations in our heads are the ways in which we deal, individually, with dilemmas or in areas where we don’t know what we should do.  There is no possible way that we can have a discussion with another person everytime we come upon a situation where we are not sure what to do or how to proceed.  So, instead we talk to ourselves…usually silently, and usually without our conscious mind even knowing we are doing it.   Do you know how the conversations sound like in your head?  It may take a minute to slow down and drown out all the other sounds that fill our busy days.  Everyone has different conversations and they all are pretty unique to each individual.

Individual counseling helps us listen to those conversations more clearly, and slow down and take an accounting for what they are saying and why they are saying it.  These conversations have been playing since the day we were born.  I would argue that they were happening before we even had articulate language.  Your mother used to plead with you, “Please eat your peas, please just eat 5 bites.”  Immediately (especially if you didn’t like peas) you had to make a decision.  Do I eat the peas even though I hate them?  And then, “Why do I eat the peas?”  Do I eat them to make my mother happy?  Do I eat them because I trust her that eating peas makes me healthy?  Do I not eat them, because I think my mother is an idiot?  What is going to happen if I don’t eat them?  These are the conversations that start, unwittingly and unceasingly, since the earliest days of our lives.  And we become accustomed to these conversations in our head, and we repeat them for years and years.

This can become a sticking point for individuals in individual counseling, because the counselor is asking the person to become more aware of their past and why these conversations in their head are the way that they are.  It takes great courage to enter into these conversations and understand their purpose.

Individual counseling is not an easy road.  We must retrace and deconstruct old patterns and old rhythms, if we are to truly be different and truly enjoy the life that we believe we deserve.

If you are looking for individual counseling in Nashville, TN, we at Two Trees Counseling Nashville can be of assistance in finding you an individual counselor that can best meet your needs.