– The Allure of Answers in Individual Counseling

Last Updated on May 24, 2018 by Chris Roberts

UNDERSTANDING WHY WE ALL WANT ANSWERS IN OUR INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING SESSIONS

By: Chris Roberts, MACP, LPC-MHSP (Licensed Professional Counselor) Two Trees Counseling Nashville

The allure of answers is intoxicating. For those of us brave enough to enter the strange waters of individual counseling, we at least want to have the comfort that we will find answers to the troubling situations we find ourselves in. The problem is that answers rarely come to those who ask. Often what we find, especially in individual counseling, is that questions lead to more questions, which lead to more stories, which lead to more questions. It could seem like a never-ending cycle. Except, of course, unless questions are more important than answers, or even more troubling, if answers were never really available in the first place.

We long for answers, because we want truth. We want facts and stability and logical reasoning. While there may be some sense of those things in certain areas of life, the human soul rarely works in those terms. Life is made up of stories, of narratives, of our best efforts at making sense of things. Ironically, these stories that we use to ensconce our situations are the ways in which our life makes sense. We are interpreting and meaning-making beings. We don’t just back our car into the concrete post behind us. We wrap this event into the greater story of what was happening that day, how it made us feel to get into an accident, and what we believe others are thinking about us, because of the accident.

HOW DO WE FIND PEACE, IF THERE ARE NO ANSWERS?

To take the simple example of backing our car into a concrete post, we can’t just accept that it was “random” or simply an “accident.” It may very well be those things, but we still put the event in the context of “random” and thereby codify it as “not having meaning,” which is a way of giving it meaning. If we were to go to our therapist and try to figure out the “meaning” of the accident, we may find more stories and possibilities than we ever imagined. And so, we long for our therapist to tell us “what it meant.” We long for THE ANSWER.   We long for the correct meaning, the best meaning, the answer that will quell our questions. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like this.

And certainly, most people come into counseling with much more complicated issues than backing their car into a post. Part of the goal of therapy and the ultimate healing process is being able to move in and out of meanings and stories and identifications. As we are able to use events to illuminate more of how we think and what we believe, we begin to see that life is as flexible as we allow it. Most of us are quite scared of the flexibility of life, especially us westerners. I believe most of us were promised answers and certainty about life, as well.

FINDING HOPE THROUGH INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING IN NASHVILLE

Although it may make no sense to believe that questions and stories are more important than answers, if we are able to come to a place to consider that alternative, we may be moving more towards health than we realized. Most of us have very reified and concrete ways of seeing and experiencing the world. To be able to see the world through different lenses and experience multiple sensations to events is a great gift that opens the world to a burst of new experiences and feelings.

If you have noticed that you are longing for more than your current experience, then individual counseling in Nashville, TN may be helpful for you.   Chris Roberts is an individual counselor in Nashville with many years helping people feel a richer experience of life and love. Chris would love to talk with you more about your circumstance. Chris can be reached at (615) 800-9260 or chris@nashvillecounselor.net.