– Top 3 Ways to Make a Healthy Marriage: A Nashville Counseling Perspective. Part 2 of 3.

Last Updated on September 18, 2019 by Chris Roberts

TOP 3 WAYS TO MAKE A HEALTHY MARRIAGE: A NASHVILLE MARRIAGE COUNSELING PERSPECTIVE. PART 2 OF 3.

In a previous article, we discussed the importance of honesty in a healthy marriage. Specially because growing old with someone who will take care of you when you need Home Care Assistance is important and have a good relationship. Honesty is not simply about confessing all of our dark secrets to our partner. We have to continually work on our understanding of honesty and how it plays out between both partners. Honesty takes work, but it can be so rewarding, connecting, and intimate. I assert there are 3 main areas that couples need to be working on throughout their relationship in order to have the best marriage possible: Honesty, Play, and Commitments.

In part 2 of our series, we will focus on PLAY. Play is as simple as it sounds and infinitely more complicated than most of us imagine. We want play to be organic, spontaneous, and easy. In the beginning of relationships it usually is! We wish it would stay this way, but it doesn’t. This is terrible fact of life. Play may seem easier for some couples, but it always takes work to keep play alive and fresh. In this article, we will unpack more of what play really means and how to keep it growing.

PLAY: A NASHVILLE MARRIAGE COUNSELING PERSPECTIVE

Play is part of the core essence of our beings. We need it to survive. We long for it in ways we are often quite oblivious of. Play means relaxation, freedom, and fun. We are born into the world with an unashamed penchant for play. Little kids eat, sleep, poop, and play. That’s just about it! And it is glorious to watch. As parents, so much of our early interaction with kids is directing, calming, and interacting with their play. Everytime we have to limit a child’s play, just watch their frustration and sadness boil. Children HATE limiting play. They become so frustrated at healthy parenting, because as parents we have to keep a schedule and fulfill the demands of everyday life—all the things innocent little children are ignorantly unaware of!

We typically fall in love with a future spouse based on play, attraction, and sexual tension. We fill our dates with fun, laughter, connection, and play. We don’t have to think about it, it just overflows from our head-over-heels love. But, as the demands of everyday life takeover (as they rightfully should), play gets pushed to the side. We forget to play. When we get hurt by our spouse, the last thing we want to do is Play with them.

Play is vulnerable, exposing, and intimate. We usually don’t think of it this way, but it is all of these things and more. Just think of the last time you were in conflict with your spouse: can you imagine playing with them during that time? Can you recognize how difficult play would be during that situation and the following moments? As the moments of disappointment and hurt pile up over the course of a marriage, we feel less and less inclined to play. We don’t want to play, because we don’t want to be vulnerable. So much of play has the potential for silliness. And silliness is highly vulnerable and exposing. When we are vulnerable or exposed, the potential for harm and hurt is so much higher. So, without notice or regard, we shut down play with our partner. We usually don’t do it on purpose. It’s a natural course of human relationship.

This is why Nashville marriage counseling can be so important. Nashville marriage counseling can bring awareness to our absence of play and why this might be so. Most of us aren’t aware of our withdrawal of play. We must first become aware of our actions in order to change them. But, obviously, becoming aware of our actions doesn’t necessitate change.

Nashville marriage counseling can help a couple discuss more openly the power and importance of play. When things are going badly, we think we need to get to the core of things. We want to get at the heart of the pain and work it through with our spouse. We must do this! AND, we must also play. A healthy marriage must have both. Sometimes play can be the antidote to a tired and trifling marriage. But we need to be conscious of the power of play and the impact of our choice to play again.

Chris Roberts is a marriage counselor in Nashville who has worked with many struggling and failing marriages. Chris can be a resource for you to work things out with your spouse through difficult discussions AND also play. We all need play. And to have a healthy marriage, you need to be able to play with your spouse.