– Using Hope in Couples Therapy

Last Updated on March 28, 2013 by Chris Roberts

FACILITATING HOPE IN COUPLES THERAPY

References “Moving up the Continuum of Hope: Developing A Theory of Hope and Understanding its Influence in Couples Therapy.” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 2010, Vol. 36, No. 2, 212-228” by David Ward and Karen Wampler.

In any context, attempting to define hope is a difficult thing.  Yet, hope is essential to human life, whether as part of a person’s spirituality or simply an intrinsic part of being human.  Hope is that measure that moves us forward even in the face of seeming impossibility.  In a couples counseling setting, hope has been described as a positive force for ushering people towards health, but very little research has been conducted to quantify and categorize the specific ways hope does help.  In a fantastic article by Ward and Wampler, they attempt to put more scientific and measurable language regarding how to use hope and its effectiveness in couples counseling.  In the beginning of the article, they use the common factors of treatment approach to identify how effective hope can be in a couples counseling context.  They write,

“The common factors approach points to four broad areas that are responsible for client change in therapy. Extratherapeutic factors are thought to explain 40% of improvement in psychotherapy and include variables related to factors clients bring with them to the therapy process, such as problem severity, client motivation, and client ego strength. The therapeutic relationship is thought to explain 30% of client improvement in psychotherapy. This variable includes the therapists’ ability to show empathy, positive regard, and genuineness. Placebo, hope, and expectancy effects are thought to explain 15% of client change, and the remaining 15% is attributed to model and technique factors.” (p. 212)

So, although hope only constitutes 15% of the factors contributing to change and health, it remains a core component of the therapeutic experience.  The next question then asks exactly how and when to use hope throughout the couples counseling process.

Ward and Wampler write that, “Three major processes were discovered that help couples to Move Up the Continuum of Hope: Creating a Hopeful Context, Cutting the Engine on the Freight Train, and Getting Over the Hump.” (p. 225)

Creating a Hopeful Context refers to the therapist’s willingness to set the stage for the belief in the couples counseling process and the belief that couples can work out their differences for something better and more beautiful than what they are currently experiencing.  This first process will be significantly used in the beginning stages of therapy as most couples enter couples counseling with a significant amount of despair and desperation at their current situation.  Creating a Hopeful Context doesn’t simply stop at the therapist proclaiming counseling will be successful, it also means that at times the couple can borrow and lean on the therapist’s hope even when it feels the couple has none of their own.  This means that the therapist needs to have more hope than will simply sustain himself, but needs measures of hope that the couples can use and “pretend” is their own.

The second process of Cutting the Engine on the Freight Train refers to the therapist’s ability to stop negative interactions between the couple that usually snowball into worse and worse beliefs about each partner and the state of the relationship.  Methods used to cut the engine include reframing, solution-focused brain storming, and stepping into the other person’s shoes.  All three of these methods require each partner to stop the train in its tracks of negativity and ask them to take a different perspective on the situation.  This can seem like simple behavioral adjustments, but it belies an underlying belief that seeing the world through a different lens will lead to a better outcome.

The third process of Getting Over the Hump refers to the therapist’s ability stay in the muck of the negative interaction until the couple reaches the other side where a positive outcome is reached.  It entails getting into the nitty gritty of ugly and disrupting conversations with the belief that there is something helpful worth fighting for on the other side.  This becomes the action oriented part of the process where a couples therapist believes the couple has the skills and hope necessary to work through a difficult situation.

At the end of the day, any good couples therapist will take a measure of risk that the couple can enter difficult terrain and perhaps get a little lost and a little sidetracked during the process, but will work through to the other side to a healthier place.  Most couples need a few good experiences of resolving conflict in order to confidently believe they can accept and adapt to negative situations in the future.

There are many fantastic couples therapists in Nashville, TN.  If you are having difficulty in your marriage or feel stuck in despair about the state of your relationship, we would love to be a resource for you.  Please feel free to contact us at Two Trees Counseling Nashville if you have questions about couples counseling or counseling in general.