– What it Feels Like to be Depressed: A Nashville Therapy Perspective, Part II

Last Updated on April 26, 2018 by Chris Roberts

MORE EXPERIENCES AND REFLECTIONS ON WHAT IT’S LIKE GOING THROUGH DEPRESSION WITH NASHVILLE INDIVIDUAL COUNSELOR

By: Chris Roberts, MACP, LMC-MHSP Two Trees Counseling Nashville

It can’t be stressed enough that being able to recognize and admit that we are depressed is one of the key features that adds to this debilitating disruption. Part of the craziness of depression is that it looks like so many other kinds of unsavory activities. And as most people who have experienced depression know, we are all too familiar with beating ourselves up over the imagined thoughts and judgments we are receiving from others.

DEPRESSION IS A LIKE A CLOUD, BUT WITH NO CONTOURS OR END

Depression is quite often described as a cloud or a fog. The distinction is that an actual cloud or rainy day or even fog has the characteristic that there is an end. This “end” connotes a subliminal suggestion that if we wait until tomorrow, or keep driving ahead, or wait until the “sun burns off the fog,” we can endure the bleakness of the current situation and arrive on the other side safe and sound. Depression is a like a cloud in our mind. Sometimes, it is like a low barometric pressure that adds an extra layer of gravity on our heads and bodies. We don’t know where it comes from and we don’t even know where it is. Perhaps it is in our heads? Perhaps it is in our chest? Perhaps it is the air we breathe and fills our lungs like a wet pillow. Perhaps it is our attitude, or our faulty thinking, or our messed up belief systems. The point is that it isn’t actually a cloud, because it has no beginning, middle, or end. Yet, it’s one of the best descriptions. This is the pain of depression.

LACK OF CONNECTION WITH LOVED ONES

A quite painful (but in a very dull manner) experience of depression is no longer receiving the innate pleasure and satisfaction of spending time with loved ones and friends. Since we don’t feel that strong sense of connection and enjoyment when we are with others, we are left to make up all kinds of terrible reasons in our mind. We may even begin to think that we might not really love other people. Or, we determine that people aren’t that great and there is nothing really special about love or connection or intimacy. The less connection and enjoyment we feel with other people, the less likely we are to leave the house and spend time with them. It’s not hard to see how this cycle perpetuates itself.   And the first time someone tells us that we are being a “baby” about staying home and our fears of going out, we collude with all of our worst thoughts about what other people are thinking about us. We become even more certain that we are worthless, or lazy, or insecure and beyond help.

It’s not altogether asinine for our friend to state we are being ridiculous for not going to hang out. From their perspective it is the same old us and everyone loves being with us! The difficulty with depression is that we legitimately, to our core, no longer recognize that part of ourselves. We can spend so much time trying to identify that old part of ourselves, but it just doesn’t seem to fit anymore.

THE BIGGEST LIE OF DEPRESSION         

One of the most damaging beliefs when we are in the midst of depression is that this state is a our true self, our core self. Because we cannot connect to that previous part of our self that was more carefree and silly and resilient, we can’t imagine that it ever existed. We are firmly entrenched in the current reality that this is fully us and of course, this creates another heartbreaking loop.

IF YOU CAN REACH OUT FOR HELP, YOU SHOULD. BE IT A FRIEND OR THERAPIST     

The worst thing a person dealing with depression wants to hear is an ultimatum or the advice of “you should do this…” And yet, if we believe the lie that people aren’t helpful or enjoyable or interested in us, then we will create our own self-fulfilling loop. If you have the strength to reach out to a friend or loved one, then by all means do so as soon as possible. If you have explored that route and are still suffering, then a mental health therapist in Nashville could be beneficial. Having an expert who can listen and carefully instruct when needed may be the boost you need to get out of this overwhelming space. Chris Roberts is a licensed professional counselor in Nashville, TN and has worked with many people suffering with depression. Chris can be reached at chris@nashvillecounselor.net or (615) 800-9260.