-Why We Need Both Sadness and Anger to Deal with this Life through Nashville Individual Therapy

LEARNING WHY WE NEED A BALANCE OF ANGER AND SADNESS TO BE HEALTHY THROUGH INDIVIDUAL PSYCHOTHERAPY IN NASHVILLE, TN

By: Chris Roberts, MACP, LPC-MHSP (Licensed Professional Counselor) Two Trees Counseling Nashville

Sadness and anger work as motivational forces pressing on us and each other as we try to navigate this life the best way possible. Most of tend to have one or the other more prevalent in our lives. We more naturally relate to, or experience, one of these emotions in our daily journeys. As such, we become more familiar with and use one of these emotions more than the other. And then, we unintentionally push away, or suppress, the other.

WHAT IS ANGER TRYING TO COMMUNICATE?

Anger says- I am a force to be reckoned with. I have a strong, independent sense of self, and when you encroach my boundaries I will fight back with passion and conviction. I am not interested in how you feel or your reasons for your actions. I want you to know that what you did was wrong, and I am not currently interested in seeing your point of view. Anger is loud and strong and dominant (or at least tries to be.)

Obviously, anger can get out of hand and be used for all sorts of harmful and damaging actions. That’s not what I’m talking about in this particular instance. I’m talking about the theoretical position of anger in dealing with a circumstance.

WHAT IS SADNESS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE?

Sadness says- I feel broken by what has happened. You have gotten to me in a deep way and I will be changed by your actions, or these circumstances. I am penetrable. I want you to know that I have tender places and I can be moved by you. Sadness is small, vulnerable, and underneath.

Sadness can be taken to the extreme and look like victimhood or impishness. Sadness can be used as an excuse for immobility or inaction. Again, I am talking about the theoretical stance of sadness as a response to a particular situation.

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY BALANCE OF BOTH

We will spend our entire lives struggling with finding a healthy balance of both emotions in our lives. Sadness ultimately says we accept that something has ended or that we have been affected. Anger communicates that I will fight to the death to change the outcome or the situation. Anger doesn’t want to accept this event as the final outcome.

Because there is such a strong tension between the two, and because they can’t exist at the same time, we all, for familiarity sake, choose to employ one strategy more often than the other. Once we realize which emotion we are allowing to be expressed more often, we can then embark on the difficult work of getting in touch with the other. This is an endless task of vulnerability.

HOW CAN INDIVIDUAL THERAPY HELP?

In therapy, we can open ourselves to additional possibilities of how to respond to events that have previously been outside our awareness. For those of us that respond more out of sadness, anger seems foreign and dangerous and unhelpful. To those of us that respond with more anger, sadness appears weak, fragile, and useless. This is why moving into that different realm becomes a brave act of vulnerability and courage.

If you are wanting more vulnerability in your life, then Chris Roberts at Two Trees Counseling Nashville can be of help to you. Chris would love to work with you. He can be reached at chris@nashvillecounselor.net, or (615) 800-9260.