– Why Women are More In Touch with the Human Spirit: A Nashville Marriage Counseling Perspective

Last Updated on August 28, 2019 by Chris Roberts

WHY WOMEN ARE MORE IN TOUCH WITH THE HUMAN SPIRIT: A NASHVILLE MARRIAGE COUNSELING PERSPECTIVE

Resource: The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self, and Relationships. David Whyte. 2009

It’s quite difficult to describe what exactly is the “human spirit.” It’s much of the work of religions and philosophers. These religions and philosophers become easily sidetracked into tributaries of rote dogma and politics. But at their core, I believe they are all trying to describe what exactly makes us human. In a fantastic book by David Whyte called, “The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self, and Relationships,” he describes the human spirit in the most eloquent manner. He writes, “This intimate internal self seems to labor and love in a completely inconsistent way. Like a completely distinct person, it does not seem to be ultimately knowable. Like a real person, it seems to want to go its own way. Our reluctance to investigate its character can be reinforced by its seeming behavior. One moment we find it relishing life, the next resenting everyone; one day finding freedom, the next feeling suffocated and surrounded. We discover it wanting one thing and then having us say out loud the complete opposite, and quite often, it seems to its own continual surprise.”(p. 76) The eloquence of these remarks lies deeply in its resonance to my own soul. The eloquence of these remarks also bucks up against the societal norms programmed into my male brain since I was able to make sense of the world.

There are many ways Nashville marriage counseling can help couples negotiate the trials and hardships of relationships, but perhaps one of the fundamental helps can be in simply allowing the human spirit to be what it is: inconsistent, opposite, and irrational. As a whole, women are far more comfortable with these descriptions of humanity than men. It would be nice to pigeon hole this experience of men into the stereotypical, southern, evangelical man, but my experience of traveling the globe has provided me a perspective that men, as a collective, fall into this category. As men, we believe we are MORE rational, more logical than women. As men, we believe that the world “needs” our type of structure and regimen and institutionalization. As such, as men, we fear those things that can’t be put in nice, neat little boxes. Because of our fear of the disorganized and the irrational, we have dismissed the female spirit as “less than.”

CAN NASHVILLE MARRIAGE COUNSELING REALLY HELP?

But what if, just what if, David Whyte is right? What if the core of our soul is more wondering spirit, than organized thoughtfulness? What if the passionate mind of the child is more in line with the true essence of our being? What if a woman’s comfortability with chaos is far more helpful to our human condition?

Time and time again, in my office, I hear men disparagingly refer to women as “irrational” and “crazy” and illogical. The ironic logic behind these disparaging remarks is that if women are far more in touch with the true human spirit, then it follows that men are the most “illogical.” It’s an upside down philosophy. But if men continually think of themselves as better because of their perceived logic, then women will be forced to accept their logic as right, or rebel against the stated norm. In either case, a woman’s insight into the human condition will always be seen as a reaction to the “logical” man’s conclusion. It’s such a bizarre concept to imagine that women may be more in tune to the human condition, that I find myself at a loss for words as to what to say to these men who make these remarks. How does one go about changing a millennia of social milieu that requires spirit-tuned assessment to debunk faulty logic? Can one actually use logic to debunk logic, when logic in itself may not be the instrument necessary for social and relational change?

Obviously these questions are too large for a format such as this article, but if the question itself allows for a peak of curiosity into our formally impenetrable foundations, then perhaps the curiosity is all we need to change the air of our relationship. If you still have your doubts, you can check out this article at tophealthjournal.com/. In this article we elaborate a bit more on what we do and how a person can benefit from our assistance.

WHY NASHVILLE MARRIAGE COUNSELING MATTERS.

In Nashville marriage counseling, my singular hope is that one or both partners will value curiosity over logic. When we become curious about our life partner sitting across from us, a world of possibilities is awakened. When our partner changes their mind from one day to the next, instead of judging them against a perceived backdrop of chronological astuteness, perhaps we delve into the questions of how they arrived at this different conclusion. How can one partner be more okay with these seemingly inconsistent valuations? Instead of working so hard to make logical sense of their varying thoughts, perhaps we could open up space inside ourselves to connect with our own wavering and inconsistent notions. Perhaps one spirit connecting to another is the key to healthy and happy marriages.

Nashville marriage counseling creates the space for couples to ask questions and be curious about their own thoughts and those of their partner. If you and your spouse continue to go round and round with “logic versus heart,” then perhaps Nashville marriage counseling could be a helpful avenue to learn to connect more deeply to each other. Chris Roberts is a licensed, professional marriage counselor who would love the opportunity to help your marriage become more enjoyable and exciting.