All of us have witnessed or been directly affected by the explosive force of anger. However, despite all its power, anger is essentially a secondary emotion. It is a defense mechanism designed to keep more vulnerable emotions from reaching the surface. Nevertheless, many people experience anger as a dominant emotion in their lives, because they have never gotten past it and into the emotions that lie beneath its protective surface. As a counselor experienced in helping people with anger management and anger control, I work with clients to develop the emotional openness that can disempower these surges and open new pathways towards emotional health and dynamic relationships.
Anger has many faces and can appear as:
- Yelling or screaming
- Silence
- Ignoring or dismissing
- Patronizing comments
- Sarcasm
- Physically acting out (throwing, hitting, damaging, destroying)
- Objectifying (attempting to control people or objects)
Each of these behaviors takes us further away from the relationships we so deeply desire. When we are angry, we are usually communicating: “If you come any closer or don’t do exactly as I say, I will make you pay.” Our anger appears to be an offensive attack and usually lands like an attack on the person it is directed at! But the reality is that we are actually defending something valuable. As humans, I believe as much as we want to keep our “valuables” hidden, we also want our “valuables” to be shared and enjoyed with other people. Through anger counseling, we can experience what it is like to share our most valuable emotions once we get past the anger and into the underlying fear of sharing our “valuables” (our deeper thoughts and emotions) with others. It is possible to completely reinvent the way we relate not just to it, but to all our relationships.
If you find yourself stuck repeating the same patterns of anger or if you want to share what’s valuable to you more often than you hide it, anger therapy can be an effective place to change your habits. I am committed to helping you stop reacting with anger, and I am committed to helping you work through it so that you connect with those you love in a compassionate, life-giving way.
If you live in or around the Nashville, Tennessee area, and are looking for a therapist to help you lessen the frequency and intensity of your anger, or gain skills for more effective anger management, then I would love the opportunity to work with you.
